Something Different- Bob the Magnificent

This isn't something you'll normally see on my blog, but I wrote this in class and felt like putting it here. And this is a randomness blog so technically I can put whatever topics I want.

          His name was Bob the Magnificent, and he was the best shark-taming tangerine-eating supervillain the glaxy has ever experienced. His sidekick and wife, Loretta the Great, accompanied him on his missions of pure evil. And they had one goal: conquering all of our civilized world and turning every little bit of it into tangerine orchards to feed their supervillaininess. We go now to Bob and Loretta, at home eating tangerines before their next big mission. 

         "Loretta, said Bob," where are all our holy tangerines of evil and other good things?'"

         "I told you," said she," They're next to our mega-powerful supersuits that you left in our high-tech flying car."

         "Now I have to walk out of our super-expensive ultra mansion (bought using evil stolen money of course) all the way down to our sixteen car garage just to get some tangerines! Gosh darn it you dalcop driggle-draggle!"

         So Bob and went and got the tangerines (all 65,376 of them) and they feasted all day long until they had enough calcium, Vitamin D and other nutritious minerals to last the average person several lifetimes. But Bob and Loretta were not average people. This was barely enough to last them 25 hours and 36 minutes (estimated). Then they began to wait until midnight to begin their evil deeds.

         "Gah," exclaimed Bob,"I can't wait until midnight! That's way past my bed time!"

         "Fine, we'll go at 9;00," replied Loretta,"That's enough time to complete our actions of pure evil and still be home before bed time."

         "But that's when all my favorite TV shows are on!"

         "Oh, quit your whining, you fat fustilarian fopdoodle. We're going at 9 whether you like it or not."

         After a considerable amount of waiting, it was finally almost 9;00. Bob and Loretta dressed up in their mega-powerful supersuits and hopped into their high-tech flying car to go complete their stuff. 

         "Gee wilikers," said Bob, could we have possibly picked better suit colors? I mean, for a mega-powerful supersuit, these things sure are ugly."

        Bob's suit was a metallic light blue with a skull in the middle (see, even from the description it sounds terrible). Loretta's was magenta with two bones criss-crossing the center of the suit. 

        They finally arrived at the site of their evil plans.

        "All right," said Loretta, "You know the plan, correct?"

        "No," said Bob,"Why, what is it?"

        "I explained it to you a mere 3 minutes ago! Curse you and your undiagnosed mild case of Alzheimer's disease, you old obese lubberwort!" 

        "Cripes. Stop your complaining, you gnashgab! Just explain the plan."

        "All right, all right. You are going to release these sharks that you tamed into the water pipes of this conveniently placed nuclear power plant. Then, when the sharks are thoroughly mutated by the radiation, you command them to drink all the water in the world and store it in our moon-sized water tanks of epicness and cool things. We hold all the water hostage unless the United Nations gives us at least two large countries to overrun with tangerine orchards, or else we let everyone die off and have the world to ourselves!"

         "But what are YOU going to do while I'm mutating these sharks?"

         "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just the way I like it."

         "Oh, I somewhat dislike you, you doggone loiter-sack!"

          Bob set about his evil deeds while Loretta did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just the way she liked it. 

          After an hour or two, Loretta began to wonder where Bob had gone. It couldn't possibly take THAT long to mutate a couple thousand sharks and send them off to do the evil bidding. She found Bob crouching near a manhole near the nuclear power plant. Loretta screamed at him,"What are you doing and why isn't our evil deed completed yet?"

         "I don't know. The sharks are acting strangely. It's quite odd."

          Suddenly, the manhole exploded and a massive shark flew out of it. The shark was about the size of a small two-seater airplane, and for some reason had wings. Bob and Loretta were sent flying back into their high-tech flying car and were instantly knocked unconcious, while the shark flew away with its newfound wings. The thousands of other sharks followed their leader, soaring out into the night sky.
          Hours later, Bob awoke atop their high-tech flying car. He immediately noticed Loretta was still unconcious and immdediately went to her. She didn't appear to be breathing!! Is Loretta dead?!? What happened to the sharks? How will Bob continue with their evil plans now that they've failed? FIND OUT NEXT TIME whenever the heck I decide to post another one of these (if ever).

I'm going to be doing one of these about once a month in the middle of the month (around the 15th). This one was late because I was just beginning to blog. But would you guys like to see a continuation of this story, or a whole new story altogether? Leave an answer in the comments or in the poll I will be posting to the right -------------------->       

 (if the answer is a new story, please leave suggestions for a story genre/theme!)

Old English Insults used in this story  Old English Exclamations used in this story   

Childhood

              It saddens me so to see many people my age walk into Starbucks like a middle aged person about to get ther daily caffiene drink before heading back to their boring desk job. This shows how eager kids are to grow up, act mature and become an adult. But as one of my favorite comic strips said, "Childhood is short and maturity is forever." In reality, kids should be hanging on to whatever scrap of childhood they have left; they don't realize how good they have it. They have free room and board. free meals every day, and all sorts of technological gadgets. And I know many students might not have all these privileges, but at least they don't have to worry about paying taxes and college fees. So a rush to grow up may not always be the best of choices. And while acting mature doesn't change your biological age, it sure changes your views on anything and everything. I believe that we as students and "young adults" should savor our immaturity, our innocence, and our ignorance of the world's problems, and just be children for once. I hate the phrase "young adult", because it encourages that eagerness to grow up and be mature. You are a child until you reach the age of eighteen and/or are self-dependent. in college or not.

               As we head into high school next year, we do need to shed our immaturity (at least on the outside ) and act like "teenagers"(another fake word, it just means older child). But that doesn't mean you have to change what's on the inside either. You can still be a child in a "teenager's" body. And that's what many people don't get. So I guess in conclusion, what I'm trying to say here is that it's okay to be a child. And if you're made fun of or bullied for acting childish in a society that encourages maturity, just know that those making fun of you are the people that  drank Starbucks at the age of 11 and now caffiene has stunted their growth (that's a proven fact by the way)

Homophobia Rant- Equality Rants Part 1

     To be honest with you, I'm not completely sure why people are prejudiced at all, much less at gay people in particular. I have no personal prejudice against them, and I think they should just be treated the same as everyone else. And there's no need to treat gays like they are something special or better than normal, either. But yet you still see and hear people making fun of gays, even using "gay" as an insult to annoy their friends. This is all fine and dandy if it's on the schoolyard (sometimes kids don't even know what they're saying) but you can see grown human beings making fun of gay people, even business owners refusing to give them service, treating them like they're some sort of monster. A prime example of this is the county clerk in Kentucky that refused to marry two gay man, despite that being against the law, because "it violated her religion" and it "violated the sanctity of marriage". She's one to talk about sanctity of marriage, considering she has been divorced three times. Violating her religion is a somewhat legitimate excuse, but only because it is instead deflecting the blame on to some religion's intolerance of gay people. Which is unexceptable, considering this intolerance is coming out of a book that is thousands of years old. It is time for CHANGE, and the change starts here, with being able to simply tolerate, if not accept, gay rights and gay marriage. Tolerance leads to acceptance, and acceptance leads to not even realizing there was once discrimination against any race, religion, sexual preference, gender, or anything else.