How to Get Perfect Hair in Twenty Simple Steps

Do you have wild hair? Is every day a bad hair day for you? Well with these 20 simple steps, your hair will be perfect every single day for the rest of your life!

Step 1: First, you must feed on the blood of a young one, and get exactly one quart of fresh blood.

Step 2: Combine this with a pint of Tapatio hot sauce and a pint of pure alcohol to make the finest liquor the world has ever seen.

Step 3: Obtain a passport, if you don't have one all ready.

Step 4: Travel over the border to Mexico, and stop at one of the border towns such as Ciudad Juarez or Tijuana.

Step 5: Sell your liquor to one of the drug cartels for exactly 26163.60 pesos (approximately $1,500).

Step 6: Travel back to the States and go to your nearest Gamestop.

Step 7: Buy every single game you can and then sell it back to Gamestop

Step 8: Once you've obtained your $20 from selling the games back, go to your nearest city office and obtain a job as a restaurant inspector.

Step 9: Inspect your nearest McDonald's and obtain all of their extra grease.

Step 10: Spread the grease on to your hair until every single hair on your head is greased.

Step 11: Without washing off the grease, walk down to your nearest Walmart and buy some dehydrated hashbrowns.

Step 12: Evenly distribute those hashbrowns on your head.

Step 13: Add water to your head, and mix.

Step 14: Once your head smells like lemons, you can stop.

And that's how you make your hair always be perfect!